OUTER SPACE – Liberty University purchased the moon on Thursday and anticipates using the extra[terrestrial] land as a parking lot for freshmen, sources say.
The moon is situated a convenient 250,000 miles away from campus and should prove to be a simple commute for freshmen as they go to and from their vehicles.
In a case where walking is undesirable due to sparse oxygen supply or radiation concerns, the 71 bus route will accommodate for the new location, adding an estimated 11,000 hours to its standard lap time.
“We are proud here at Liberty for our continually expanding student body,” president Jerry Jr. reported to the press. “Becky told me that this purchase was ‘out of this world’ and she was right. We’re excited for what the future holds as far as purchasing and turning other bodies of land into parking lots.”
Rumors have since begun circulating about university plans to construct the new school of business on Pluto.
Connect with the Flaming Bugle on Facebook and Twitter to stay in the know.