Falwell to Celebrate Trump’s Obvious Victory in First Presidential Debate

falwell-horse-trumpLYNCHBURG, VA – Following the intellectually stimulating and issue-centered presidential debate tonight, Jerry Falwell Jr., president of Liberty University, celebrated Donald Trump’s glaring and obvious win of the professional verbal battle.

“There was no contest, in my mind,” Falwell said. “He only spoke the truth and represented himself as a man of character. Like he said, his temperament is superior to Clinton’s and I think we’ve seen that displayed during his entire campaign.”

Falwell shared with the press that he and Becky were going to go back to their farm and shoot shotguns in a celebratory manner. He also alluded to a twilight horseback ride after enjoying some “great American food.”

When asked to comment on how he could consider the night a “victory” for the GOP candidate, in light of so many early polls indicating just the opposite, Falwell donned a red “Make America Great Again” hat, steered his horse around, and galloped off through his lake.


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