ATLANTA, GA – An evangelical Christian college student forcefully renounced his personal endorsement of Donald Trump (R) via his WordPress blog as soon as he heard the 11-year-old sound bite that revealed how Trump, as of 2005, hadn’t reached perfect sanctification.
Twenty-one-year-old Joe List of Liberty University reportedly thought Trump was morally perfect and had committed to voting for him based on this perception.
That perception changed upon the timely release of the aforementioned and lewd audio clip.
“I was shocked when I realized that Trump wasn’t as pure as the Second Adam,” List remarked to the press. “I just have to give up voting for him. I could never cast a ballot for someone who has a sinful heart.”
When asked who List would now vote for while still adhering to his commitment to only endorse a morally perfect human, he replied that he “must vote his conscience” as he scrolled through Gary Johnson campaign material.