LYNCHBURG, VA (11:35 a.m.) – A holy hostage situation is developing at Liberty University: the student body has captured and is retaining vice presidential nominee Mike Pence (R-IN) and is holding him at ransom until his presidential running partner, Donald Trump, accepts Christ as his Lord and savior.
Dr. David Wheeler, evangelism professor at the school, is reportedly leading the detainment initiative.
Pence received rapturous applause after delivering his tactful and poignant message to the student body. Dr. Wheeler went on stage to supposedly shake hands and thank the politician, but instead put him in an arm bar and signaled for the students to rush the stage.
“I’m sorry about this, Mike,” Wheeler is overheard to have said as they tussled on the stage. “But the future of our great nation is at stake and we need a man of God in that oval office.”
“[Mr. Trump], we’ll give you back your vice president when you give your life to Christ,” the student body offered in a Tweet aimed at Trump.
Pastor David Nasser released a statement saying: “Just like we are set free in Christ, so too Pence will be set free to Trump, on the stipulation that he surrenders his life to Jesus and begins bearing fruit.”
Speculative reports are beginning to circulate that the university invited Pence for this very reason – to hold him captive in the name of bringing the controversial republican presidential nominee to the Lord.
Trump has yet to respond.
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