Library Computer Issues Apology Statement for Taking Forever to Load


JERRY FALWELL LIBRARY – An HP computer in the Jerry Falwell Library released an official statement today apologizing for the inappropriate amount of time that it takes to allow users to log in.

Anywhere from two minutes to three semesters can elapse between a user entering their credentials and them being able to start using the computer, sources say. Consequently, the student body found the apology exceedingly appropriate.

“I’m sorry about this,” the statement said. “Even though I really am excited to show you all the great features I have, like Microsoft Word, I understand that being able to go through four relationships before my desktop loads is unacceptable.”

Even though the apology was warmly received and appreciated by the campus, load times remain astronomical. One faculty member hopes to be able to log in and print a document in time to witness the birth of his firstborn, but he remains skeptical as his wife is already three weeks pregnant.

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