LYNCHBURG, VA – Early insights into who the students of Liberty University are voting for reveal that 87% of ballots cast so far have been write-ins of an unofficial candidate, Bus Driver Rick.
The new name in the political arena is a famed and beloved bus driver who often pilots the 70 and 71 bus routes. He wins over the hearts of students by speaking words of encouragement and gratitude over the bus intercom while the passengers are in transit.
He also gives shameless endorsements to his Twitter page, @busdriverrick.
“You just don’t see Trump or Clinton doing this kind of thing,” a sophomore said as she teared up just from thinking about Rick’s surpassing kindness. “I listen to my conscious when I vote, and it definitely told me to write Rick in.”
“I left North a broken man and got off at DeMoss a restored creation, all thanks to Rick,” testified a freshman. “His constant reminder of Christ’s love for me made me a new man, and now I want to make him the United States president.”
Even though the quantity of write-ins for Rick won’t be enough to produce any electoral votes, students reported that they don’t care; they’re just happy that they had fulfilled their first and foremost duty of serving their personal, individual conscience.
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