LUPD Rounds up Hoard of CFAWs After Mistaking Them for Election Riot


LYNCHBURG, VA – The Liberty University Police Department rounded up a large group of college for a weekend guests earlier today after mistaking them for a hoard of pouting and violent political rioters, sources confirm.

It wasn’t until after the officers strategically surrounded the high schoolers and their parents on the lawn of the Hancock Welcome Center when they realized that the crowd was actually made of prized guests of the university, not evil intentioned, entitled, unscrupulous humans who can’t stand the thought of losing.

“It was an honest mistake,” an LUPD representative admitted. “Those political rioters are loud, they cry, and they wander the streets in herds – they’re almost indistinguishable from our college for a weekend guests.”

The school was forced to issue a swift apology to the unsettled visitors. They then directed them to the Rot to enjoy some exquisite cuisine.

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