MONTVIEW LAWN – School officials are withholding comment after a student went missing earlier today subsequent to wandering on the roped-off lawn between the science hall and the Montview Student Center.
The high-security barriers proved no match for Sara Stein, 18, as her curiosity hurdled herself over the corded barricades with ease. It was, though, to her own demise.
When asked about the whereabouts of Stein, officials simply smirked, shrugged their shoulders, and continued on with their business.
At publishing time, unofficial sources say that Stein was seen waking up in her dorm room bed with a “Please Stay Off Grass” sign implanted into her pillow next to her head.
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