Student Repents For Feeling Satisfied From Seeing Longboarder Wipe Out

LIBERTY PRAYER CHAPEL – Logan Phillips, 21, sulked into the prayer chapel last night to lay bare at the altar his convicted heart after feeling an immeasurable amount of satisfaction from seeing a student riding a longboard totally wipe out.

Phillips witnessed and reveled in the event at the bottom of the slope of University Blvd. right outside of Vines Center.

“My sin nature has always wanted to see one of those guys completely eat it,” Phillips admitted. “But as soon as I cracked a smile and posted the humiliated show-off on my Snapchat story, I knew I had committed a grievous sin.”

Phillips made his way to the prayer chapel that night, knowing that it was the only location on campus where students who are serious about their faith go to worship, commune, or plea with their Creator.

Phillips was heard mumbling, “Be gracious to me, o God, and blot out my rebellion.” Reporters did not ask for further comment during the solemn display.

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