WASHINGTON – A miniature Jerry Falwell Jr. was spotted enjoying the presidential inauguration earlier today from President Donald Trump’s front coat pocket.
Falwell played an indispensable role in legitimizing the controversial politician to the nation’s conservatives. The tiny educational tycoon reportedly took pride in this promotional labor from his snug vantage point.
“I’m happy to have been Donald’s tool to reach the conservative community,” Falwell said. “I hope I don’t have to leave his pocket now that he’s officially accomplished his goal of becoming the U.S. president. It’s cozy here.”
Sources say that Trump’s compact companion had an infinitely better vantage point than did patriotic and fragile members of the extreme left who refused to attend the historic assembly.
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