LYNCHBURG, VA – Project managers at Liberty University proudly announced today that the completely necessary indoor football arena will be finished just in time to host the New England Patriots and Atlanta Falcons for Super Bowl LI.
“We’re known to finish buildings faster than a CFAW can fall in love with three college girls, but even this was a challenging feat for us,” a CMA site manager said. “But Liberty really motivated us by sharing that the Super Bowl was actually going to be hosted here rather than Texas.”
The mass media would have the public believe that the game will be hosted in Texas, but lately school officials have continually reminded the student body that the mass media is always wrong.
The text on propaganda flyers dropped from an overhead airplane read:
“Liberals = Bad.
CNN = Liars.
Christian = Conservative.”
Students are being assured that when they tune in to the big game, their screens will display familiar scenes like North Campus, Vines Center, and David Nasser telling the arena’s occupants to remain seated despite the Falcons fan’s urgency to leave from seeing their team fall behind 21 points in the first quarter.
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