Liberty Student Body Prefers Fever, Vomiting Over Attending Class

LIBERTY UNIVERSITY – As an influenza outbreak continues to wreak havoc on Liberty University’s campus, the student body reportedly upholds that experiencing severe headaches, vomiting, fevers, and sore throats is much preferable over attending the classes that they pay for.

Sources say that students would much rather spend several sleepless nights in pain than going to the classes that will enable them to live a high quality of life.

Student sentiment continues to wish ill upon more and more of the student body so that, after a critical percentage of infected people is reached, the courses that are divulging valuable knowledge will be canceled.

Meanwhile in Gulu, China, middle school students are enjoying some rest from their five-hour daily hike to school.


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