‘Boyfriend’ On Menu At JFL Starbucks By Popular Demand

JERRY FALWELL LIBRARY – As seasonal demand for boyfriends has spiked on Liberty’s campus, the library Starbucks is now offering variations of boyfriends on their menu for a limited time.

An advertising poster read:

“In the mood for something classic? Try our tall, dark-roast and handsome. Or if you’re tired of wearing the pants in the relationship, order our macho macchiato.”

Other limited time offers include:

Friend zone freedom frappe,

Bad-boy brew,

Carmel-skinned loyal latte,

Espresso your way to the altar,

Crunchy cappuccino (shoes not included; served with a bandana and endless dates to the rock wall).

At publishing time, the local Dunkin’ Donuts reportedly caught on to the seasonal demand and has introduced boyfriends filled with a gospel center and glazed in pure husband material.

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