JERRY FALWELL LIBRARY – As seasonal demand for boyfriends has spiked on Liberty’s campus, the library Starbucks is now offering variations of boyfriends on their menu for a limited time.
An advertising poster read:
“In the mood for something classic? Try our tall, dark-roast and handsome. Or if you’re tired of wearing the pants in the relationship, order our macho macchiato.”
Other limited time offers include:
Friend zone freedom frappe,
Carmel-skinned loyal latte,
Espresso your way to the altar,
Crunchy cappuccino (shoes not included; served with a bandana and endless dates to the rock wall).
At publishing time, the local Dunkin’ Donuts reportedly caught on to the seasonal demand and has introduced boyfriends filled with a gospel center and glazed in pure husband material.
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