Glaring Dr. Spohn Materializes Out of Thin Air After Student Suggests Evolution’s Plausibility

LIBERTY CAMPUS – While two students were chatting about the value of the diversity of opinion within the Church, conversation briefly visited the development of life on earth. One student, 20-year-old Ben Kindsman, expressed how he was fine with his brother in Christ believing in evolution and how there were no inherent contradictions in the Bible against it.

It was then that a disturbance was felt in the air around the wholesome conversation, and in mere moments the figure of a disgruntled Dr. R. Terry Spohn materialized amongst the friends.

“Now now, beloved, let me talk to you like a Dutch uncle,” a glaring Spohn characteristically quipped as he wagged his finger at the heretic. “Evolution can’t possibly be true – the word isn’t even found in the Bible.”

“You’ve got to learn to force your Western, 21st century inclinations onto the ancient text,” Spohn continued. “That’s how the author intended it to be read! Anyone who doesn’t do so is a liberal, and  remember, beloved, liberals are bad!”

Before the student could pose any question concerning the ancient Near East context of Genesis or why the text was rarely interpreted as history in the ancient church, Dr. Spohn was already fading away. The last thing heard by the students was some faint exclamation having to do with Ken Ham.


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