THE HILL – While gathering for the first time of the year, a community group on M18 accidentally summoned a terrible demon from the depths of Sheol during their time of prayer, sources say.
The fiend, reportedly assigned the name Thorn by the powers below, was unintentionally summoned by the heresy spoken from the mouths of the participants. With every well-intentioned but fundamentally heretical prayer, Thorn fizzled more and more into materiality.
“Father, just be with us now,” the CGL intercessed, drawing the initial form of the devil from the depths.
“Jesus, please let my intramural basketball team win on Thursday, and remind us that they can do all things,” the next student petitioned, resulting in further substantiation of the ghoul.
“God, thank you for making America great again by providing us with the Republican Christian leadership of President Trump,” one student said, triggering a shrill screech from the depths of Thorn’s essence.
By the end of the prayer group Thorn had materialized completely and crept from the dorm. He was last seen heading for University Boulevard, where he reportedly met up with countless other devils emerging from dorms across campus.