Construction Coming Along Nicely on Liberty University’s Weapon Armory

UNIVERSITY BLVD – Project managers overseeing Liberty’s latest construction endeavor affirmed earlier today that the assembly of the school’s weapon armory is coming along quite nicely.

With an anticipated completion date of the Spring of 2019, the weapons hub will be the happy housing place for various arms that Christians are undoubtedly obligated to weild.

“As representatives of the finest evangelical thought to this good but sick nation, we are excited to open the doors of our weapons arsenal next spring,” President Jerry Falwell Jr. said in a statement. “This baby is gonna’ be sweet.”

Once open, students will be able to swipe out any of a plethora of firearms. This will instill a sense of pride and an understanding that students’ power and security are in their hands rather than sustainment being the purview of a Sovereign Creator.

Connect with us on Facebook and Twitter to stay in the know.