JIMMY’S WORKSHOP – Former president Jimmy Carter was spotted moments ago carefully tending to a wooden canoe in preparation for his address to the graduates of Liberty University.
Sources say that the canoe, a cherished family heirloom, should be sufficient to keep the keynote speaker afloat amidst the unusual deluge in Lynchburg.
Former President Carter expressed his fondness for the activity and his appreciation for his continued dexterity.
“I don’t mind, really,” a cheerfully tranquil Carter commented to reporters. “Even now, I enjoy an outing in this old boat. Its grain holds many a dear memories, and I count the ability to work with my hands as a splendid gift.”
Similarly, President Jerry Falwell Junior was seen pouring gasoline into his double-prop motor boat in preparation to zoom around campus.