Liberty University Athletics announced new plans to further expand the Williams Stadium in one week’s time into a $10 million multiplex rivaling the Dallas Cowboys stadium.
“After creaming Old Dominion, I think it’s safe to say that Liberty is going to release God’s wrath on all upcoming teams,” President Jerry Falwell Jr. said. “We gotta give the Holy Spirit a little more room to move in our stadium.”
The 30,000-seat stadium will be expanded to hold 300,000 to accommodate the student body, visiting alumni and literally anyone else who shows up.
Plans are to break ground today and finish construction by the next home game Saturday, Sept. 15. — a deadline Falwell said is totally feasible.
But Vice President of Major Construction Daniel Deter is skeptical of the proposed plans.
“They gave me blueprints with bleachers attached to the scoreboard, jutting out of the field goal posts and suspended over the field,” Deter said. “At this rate, Commons IV won’t be finished till 2028.”
Some students are also feeling a little lukewarm about the plans. Commuter student Brett Anderson was less than enthusiastic.
“I just want more parking,” Anderson said, sitting in his car as tears welled up in his eyes. “Please.”