Liberty May Expel Students Named Colin Over Nike Controversy

LYNCHBURG, VA – Liberty University President Jerry Falwell announced earlier today that he was “seriously considering” expelling students named Colin in light of Nike endorsing former  NFL star Colin Kaepernick last week.

Kaepernick garnered national attention for kneeling during the national anthem before football games to protest police brutality.

The announcement comes days after Falwell told the News and Advance the university was reexamining its contract with Nike, which is slated to last until 2024.   

“We just don’t want to draw any more attention to the grandstanding of Mr. Kaepernick,” Falwell said. “We’re sick of it. Though these students didn’t choose their names, they are choosing to keep them and therefore are contributing to the lack of respect for our great country.”

Falwell also stated that those facing potential expulsion could legally change their name by Friday to ensure their enrollment. This announcement ensued in a frenzy at the Lynchburg courthouse.

“There was a line of, like, 50 Colins, but I did it,” said freshman Donald Jones, who was formerly known as Colin. “I was actually named after my grandfather, but I don’t want to support anything that’ll get me kicked out.”

Falwell said the final decision would most likely be announced tonight.

“We might want to think about doing something about the nickname ‘Mikey,’ too,” Falwell said. “Sure sounds a lot like ‘Nike.’”